Greg and I had a date Saturday night, and I asked Erin (neighbor teen) and Matt to walk Snicker in the evening, which they did. She peed and pooped, as usual. But then she also peed in our bedroom! Any break in the routine (me walking the damn dog twice a fucking day for at least a mile) and we get some misbehavior. I didn't beat her, or even scold her - too far after the fact, right?
For Father's day, we went to see Annette, then out to dinner with Tim & Jana at Tom's Ribs, where Bobby works. Since we'd be gone 4-5 hours, I decided not to risk Snicker in the house, and set her up with a nice shady spot, two containers of water, and her food bowl, on the long lawn chain and stake.
When we got back, she had denuded a section of our yard, including several small trees! She was all tangled up, had knocked over both water bowls. I calmly called Greg to witness, thinking, maybe this isn't so bad. Maybe I'm just overreacting. He was astounded. I talked about turning her back into animal defense league, and called about it. We'd have to be on a waiting list and pay a $20 surrender fee.
When I asked Matt how he'd feel if we turned Snicker back in, he said, "When people come over who know Snicker, they'll say, 'Where's Snicker?' " I think he would be happy to trade Snicker for a puppy, actually, except for the embarrassment factor (which I share). Is that silly? I've been honest with Matt about how I'm feeling about the dog. "She's a good dog, but she's a lot of work for me. It makes me mad when she pees in the house or gets into the trash, or destroys the miniblinds. We can't afford to get the fence replaced for her to live outside."
What should I have said to him about that feeling of shame? I said, "Yep, that would happen, all right." I've not made any decision yet. I'd feel like a failure if I turned her in, and foolish for not turning her in during our "trial period" of three weeks. Like I'm a bad person, a dog-abandoner.
I thought training would help, so I've been diligently working on "sit" for weeks. Sometimes she does it, sometimes not. The video I borrowed from the library (which seemed good) said that once they do it without prompting, if they ever don't, assume it's resistance, not stupidity. She'll sit for me 5 times in a row, then not - all in the course of 15 minutes. The video also said we'd probably master sit in an afternoon. NOT. I'm not sure if this is old dog syndrome, buttheadedness, or what. She cowers to me, but is sneakily disobedient.
I hate her. She follows me everywhere, wants to be with me all the time. This morning she cowered and tried to lick my feet before our walk, and that only makes me hate her more. I chant "Snicker is my friend. We love Snicker" to keep me from killing her. I'm not back to fantasizing about bashing her skull, though. Yet.
